I Went From Teacher to Executive — These Classroom Rules Still Run My Team.

One of the questions I get asked most often is whether kindness really belongs in leadership. I understand why people ask. Somewhere along the way, kindness became confused with weakness. We started believing that if a leader is compassionate, they must also be permissive. If they care about people, they must not care about performance. I have found exactly the opposite to be true.

My career began in education, not business. I often joke that I went to “teacher school.” In education, kindness isn’t considered a leadership style. It’s simply part of the job.

You’re taught that children learn best when they feel safe enough to ask questions, make mistakes and try again. Fear might produce temporary compliance, but trust produces lasting growth. When I eventually transitioned into leadership, I realized adults don’t stop needing those things just because they receive a paycheck instead of a report card.

That realization has shaped every team I’ve led. Whether someone is six years old or sixty, they’re still carrying experiences that influence how they respond to feedback, conflict, praise and accountability. Every leader is managing people who are, in some way, still trying to satisfy the needs of their younger selves. Understanding that makes your leadership more effective.

One of the biggest distinctions I make with leaders is the difference between being nice and being kind. Those words get used interchangeably, but they produce very different outcomes. Being nice often means protecting someone’s feelings in the moment. Being kind means helping them grow, even if growth requires an uncomfortable conversation.

Nice says, “I don’t want to upset you.” Kind says, “I care too much about your success to leave you where you are.”

I’ve watched leaders delay feedback because they didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Months later, they’re frustrated while the employee has no idea anything is wrong. What started as an attempt to be nice ends with confusion and resentment on both sides.

Clear expectations are one of the greatest gifts a leader can give. People deserve to know where they stand, and they deserve the opportunity to improve before frustration quietly builds into something much bigger.

For years, especially as someone who naturally wanted to help people, I confused leadership with self-sacrifice. I believed saying yes made me supportive. I believed taking on more responsibility made me a better leader. What it actually did was leave me emotionally drained.

Eventually, I realized kindness also has to extend to the person doing the leading. If I continually ignore my own limits to spare someone else’s temporary discomfort, everyone pays the price. My energy, patience and decision-making all suffer.

That’s why boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re one of the kindest things we can establish. Sometimes the kindest decision is saying no. Sometimes it’s addressing a performance issue before it becomes a crisis. Sometimes it’s allowing someone to experience the natural consequences that help them grow instead of rescuing them every time. Those decisions aren’t always pleasant, but they create clarity.

One lesson I never left behind from the classroom is that people perform better when they know someone genuinely sees them.

I’ve always loved making work enjoyable. Sometimes that means turning training into a game, celebrating progress or simply bringing a little fun into the workday.

People laugh when they hear about pizza parties, but there’s a reason they’ve existed for decades. As children, some of our happiest memories involved games and shared experiences. We don’t outgrow those needs simply because we become adults.

The goal is helping people feel like they belong. I’ve often said that every adult still has an inner child. We all carry old stories about whether we’re good enough, whether we matter, or whether we’re capable of succeeding. Great leaders create environments where people feel safe enough to contribute fully, ask questions, admit mistakes and continue growing.

People sometimes ask how I made the transition from education into business leadership. To be honest, it never felt like much of a transition.

In the classroom, I used the “I do, we do, you do” approach.

First I modeled the behavior, then we practiced it together, and eventually students did it independently. Leadership works the same way. Teams don’t become accountable because we tell them to. They become accountable because leaders model the behavior they expect.

When I think about the teachers who left the greatest impact on my life, they weren’t the ones who ruled with fear. They were the ones who expected a great deal from me while making it clear they believed I could succeed. That’s the kind of leader I’ve always wanted to become.

Organizations spend enormous amounts of time searching for ways to improve performance through new technology, processes and systems. While those things matter, performance almost always comes back to people.

People communicate sooner when they trust their leader. They recover faster from mistakes, share better ideas and become more accountable when expectations are clear and trust is strong. Real kindness requires courage. It means having honest conversations, setting healthy boundaries, creating clear expectations, and believing enough in people to help them become better than they were yesterday.

That’s why I don’t see kindness as a soft skill. I see it as one of the most overlooked performance strategies a leader can use. When people know they’re valued, challenged, and genuinely supported, they don’t simply become happier employees. They become stronger performers, better teammates and more confident leaders themselves.