Few things are as personal or as heartfelt as wedding vows. They’re an opportunity for couples to express their love to one another, unfiltered, in front of the most important people in their lives. But in the age of artificial intelligence, more and more aspects of wedding planning are getting outsourced to technology—and a new survey shows that even the vows aren’t off the table.
Wedding planning platform Zola reports that 54% of couples are using AI for some aspect of planning, with the largest share using it to answer etiquette questions (54%), keep track of timeline and to-do lists (44%), and draft emails to guests and vendors (40%).
According to Zola, using AI to draft vows is a line most couples don’t cross, with 63% saying AI has no place in the writing process. Though vows are the most personal part of the ceremony, 44% also said it shouldn’t play a part in writing any speeches or toasts and 36% don’t want it used by officiants to pen the ceremony script.
But a new survey suggests that modern couples’ views are shifting. While fully AI-generated vows remain taboo, nearly half of people in committed relationships said they don’t mind AI playing a part in the writing process, as long as a few key conditions are met.
When AI usage crosses a line
The survey, conducted by Use.AI, polled 7,400 adults who are married, engaged, or in a committed relationship on their feelings toward AI use when writing wedding vows.
More than half of those surveyed (54%) said they’d rather hear imperfect or awkward vows fully written by their partner versus more polished pledges that were written primarily by AI, while 41% said that vows would feel less personal if they discovered that their partner had relied on AI to write them.
But that doesn’t mean AI use is entirely out of the question, as nearly half of respondents (48%) said they wouldn’t mind if their partner put their memories, promises, and ideas into an AI model and asked for help with the structure or wording of their vows. In other words, most couples see AI as acceptable for editing vows but not for writing them independently.
Many respondents said that AI usage itself isn’t a problem, but if their partner used AI to write their vows without telling them, it could cause serious problems in their relationship.
More than three-fifths of those surveyed (61%) agreed that a person should tell their partner if AI played a significant role in writing their vows, with 34% adding that they’d be more upset to learn about heavy AI use after the wedding, as opposed to being told beforehand. In the most extreme cases, 19% of respondents said that undisclosed substantial AI use would make them seriously reconsider their vows and relationship overall, with 11% saying it could be a deal-breaker for their marriage.
Still, 40% of respondents conceded that if their partner only used AI to improve grammar, clarity, or structure, they wouldn’t need to disclose it.
A growing market for wedding AI
AI-generated wedding vows are now so prevalent that platforms have emerged specifically to blend tech and matrimony.
Take Provenance, a platform founded in 2021, which now features AI tools meant especially for weddings. These include the Ceremony Builder, which creates scripts for couples and officiants to use during the ceremony; the Toast Builder, which generates drafts for speeches by best men, maids of honor, or anyone speaking at a reception; and, yes, the Vow Builder, which drafts personalized vows for spouses-to-be based on a quick questionnaire. From there, couples can edit the vows to their hearts’ content—or take them straight to the altar as is.
